I've been thinking a lot about what pristis said in the comments to my last post.
When I posted it, I felt like I was on the verge of understanding something big. After reading his comments, I feel like I'm even closer. But I'm still not quite there. It has something to do with the way mathematics allows you to change axiom sets and derive interesting results, and an analogy from there to New Criticism, and then somehow from there it expands to illuminate the big metaphysical and ethical questions.
It's right on the tip of my brain, but I can't quite straighten it out into something discussable. A little frustrating, honestly.
Viga's mother died suddenly, some time between Wednesday evening and the early hours of Thursday morning. We do not know why, and probably won't until the full toxicology report comes back in two months -- leading speculation is an adverse reaction to medication. She was discovered by a neighbor, and appeared to have just fallen asleep watching TV and never woke up.
Needless to say, this has been a huge shock for Viga. She's completely devastated, and it doesn't help that she's the next of kin, so she has to be there to sign all the paperwork, and two members of her family are being unrelentingly horrible to her.
I've just been trying to be there for her as much as I can. It's reminded me of a lot to do with my dad, which hurts, but not half as much as seeing her in pain hurts. And all of my pain is nothing compared to hers. The next couple of weeks are going to be all about Viga, until she's started to heal. Nothing else is important right now.
Still... I'm exactly where I want to be: By her side, in bad times as much as good. I love her, and I want her to heal. I think she will. She's not trying to be tough or strong or pretend there's anything good about this, or any of the other absolutely terrible advice everyone always gives grievers.