August 25th, 2005


I'm not sure why I like this exchange...

From "College Roomies from Hell" ( Mike has just discovered that the End Times are approaching. Dave, who is in love with the woman who *may* (if Satan can be believed, which he can't) be destined to be the mother of the Antichrist, was captured by Satan, but rescued by a flare of light that drove him away, possibly divine in origin.

Mike: We've had a lot of personal encounters with Satan, and it's only because we're stupid that we haven't pooled our knowledge. Maybe we can find a way to defend ourselves.

Dave: Do you think there's a way? How do we defeat someone so powerful. We're only human!

Mike: Well, maybe *you* can settle for waiting around for God to fight your fights... But God's not on the side of guys like me, Dave. If I'm going to play the game, I'm going to have to assume I'm alone.

I'm not sure why I like CRFH. It's not funny, the art is only so-so, the plotlines are weird, hard to follow, and often somewhat trite (such as, the End Times are near), the dialogue is often weirdly stilted (I *think*, but am not certain, that English is the author's second language -- copy editors learn quickly that native-speaker errors and second-language errors are COMPLETELY different)... but I find something about it strangely appealing.


So, having been accused multiple times of having "low self-esteem" or a "poor self-image" in the last few weeks, I would like to make some observations.

(1) I am far less capable at left-brain sciency things than my friends. Except maybe proofs -- I beat Cyrus for "best score in our advanced logic class" by one point. I am better at these things than any humanities major I've met, though.

(2) I'm a damn good writer.

(3) I'm also damn good at my job. It would take two-three people to replace me, and I *still* finish my work quickly enough that I spend most of my time at work posting on livejournal, reading webcomics, or writing.

(4) I have no morals or principles and am thoroughly selfish. Textbook "bad person" -- not Hitler by a long shot, but definitely below average.

(5) I don't like most people, and I don't bother hiding it. As a result, and when combined with (4), most people don't like me.

(6) I'm obese, short, and neither know nor care anything about how to dress.

In other words? I evaluate myself highly in areas at which I'm good, and lowly in areas at which I'm bad. That's not called low self-esteem. That's called realism.

Tristan is fond of saying "Realists are just pessimists with no imagination." I disagree thoroughly. A lot of unimaginative pessimists do call themselves realists, but I actually *am* a realist -- I am just as aware of what I'm good at as what I'm bad at.

So, now that we've covered that, would people *please* stop telling me I have low self-esteem? It's getting annoying.
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